I'm leaving for my apartment to attend university tomorrow. I'm quite excited to be on my own, but I'm a little sad about not being with my loved ones. I know it's no big deal, but still!

My mom had class today, so she took my sister and I to the mall so we could shop around while we waited for her. Even though I was at the same mall on Thursday, it's a lot more fun with my sister. We found some good sales, still, and we still busted the money we had in reserve for shopping. XD

After that, we stopped by our old home to take a look at the renovations. It's looking good. I think we might sell it, if we decide not to rent it out.

Now we're at grandma's with my uncle and his wife and two children. Both are currently taking a nap.

( Yet why do I feel sad? )

Hahah, I'm not feeling crappy or anything, I just wanted to write about this. n_n;

I'm mad at her for wearing make-up because she doesn't need it. She really doesn't, and I'm not just saying that because I don't wear make-up myself. Some people look good with it, but her, just no. =/ All she uses right now is black eye-liner, but it looks so odd. Her hair is in her fave all the time anyway, why need to outline it in more shadows?

I'm upset and I don't know what to do about it. It's her choice, so I don't say anything about it, but I hate it. This must be what a teenager is like. I never knew they could be so rebellious and make such stupid decisions based on peer pressure. I thought it was just a TV kind of thing, and even so, I never expected my own sister to be like that, too. I thought she'd be better than that.

Now I really know I can never have kids. I thought about it the other day, and it must be tough for parents to tell their kid not to do something, and then they do it. I was just thinking how upset I get when I tell the people I care about not to do something rash, hoping that maybe they'd listen to what I hope is a voice of reason, but then they don't change at all. I would hope that talking about feelings and stuff would make people feel better, but I've learned that with some people, even if they do talk to you, they don't change anything. (Not that Tomo is one of them, I'm thinking of another guy. XD)

But, gosh, she really doesn't need it. She seriously looks so generic that if I try to imagine her right now, I can only think of her in the one same outfit. She never looks different with her sense of dress. I can't complain about her clothes as much as her make-up, because of everything, the make-up is the weirdest.

I HOPE SHE WILL GROW UP AND LOOK BACK ON THE HER RIGHT NOW AND THINK IT'S RIDICULOUS.

Hahah, I'm not feeling crappy or anything, I just wanted to write about this. n_n;

I'm mad at her for wearing make-up because she doesn't need it. She really doesn't, and I'm not just saying that because I don't wear make-up myself. Some people look good with it, but her, just no. =/ All she uses right now is black eye-liner, but it looks so odd. Her hair is in her fave all the time anyway, why need to outline it in more shadows?

I'm upset and I don't know what to do about it. It's her choice, so I don't say anything about it, but I hate it. This must be what a teenager is like. I never knew they could be so rebellious and make such stupid decisions based on peer pressure. I thought it was just a TV kind of thing, and even so, I never expected my own sister to be like that, too. I thought she'd be better than that.

Now I really know I can never have kids. I thought about it the other day, and it must be tough for parents to tell their kid not to do something, and then they do it. I was just thinking how upset I get when I tell the people I care about not to do something rash, hoping that maybe they'd listen to what I hope is a voice of reason, but then they don't change at all. I would hope that talking about feelings and stuff would make people feel better, but I've learned that with some people, even if they do talk to you, they don't change anything. (Not that Tomo is one of them, I'm thinking of another guy. XD)

But, gosh, she really doesn't need it. She seriously looks so generic that if I try to imagine her right now, I can only think of her in the one same outfit. She never looks different with her sense of dress. I can't complain about her clothes as much as her make-up, because of everything, the make-up is the weirdest.

I HOPE SHE WILL GROW UP AND LOOK BACK ON THE HER RIGHT NOW AND THINK IT'S RIDICULOUS.

So the other day, after finishing my shower I head over to my mom's bedroom to find a comb to brush my hair, I noticed the window blinds were open. My mom tells me it's okay to leave it open during the day, but at night when I want the light son, the windows have to be closed, because then people can see me if I'm there. Well, I didn't feel like closing the blinds at that time, and I figured I wouldn't hang around too long, so being seen wouldn't be too much of a problem, but then I thought.. What if in the brief moment when I'm combing my hair, someone broke through the window with a gun and gunned me down?! More importantly, I wonder what would happen if I screamed. Surely, my sister who was upstairs who might (or might NOT, since it's not possible she would ignore my scream of horror as if it were nothing) hear it might come running downstairs to check on the commotion. If that happened, she would be shot too, right? In that case scenario, I would like her to run. Don't check up on me, run, because I don't want you to be next. o_o

Isn't that a hard decision to make right then and there? To tell someone not to check what's happening as someone's getting assaulted because you value their life? Like, technically, Tomo, if you're reading this, this is what I'm saying: If you hear me screaming and gunshots or something, don't check up on me. Go run and find help. )X

This is scary. I almost want to cry. -dork- Because I'm scared, or something.

It's just like if there's a code red at school or something and the gunman somehow broke into your classroom and starts shooting, what are you supposed to do? At first I thought playing dead would be the obvious answer, because uh, then the guy would think I'm dead when I'm faking it, right? But how are you going to keep your breathing all calm as that happens? Moreover, what if the guy wants to make sure you're dead, and SHOOTS you another time just to make sure? You can't really get up and run, either. That's sure death right there, too.

Darnit, why do mean people have to come and threaten everyone's life all of a sudden like that?

Watching America's Most Shocking videos or something had nothing to do with this. XD I just realized that watching that yesterday was a funny coincidence. Dangerous people just come out of nowhere, it's scary.

On a lighter note! Well, it's still more ramblings on my wonders, but while I was playing solitaire many times and losing, I was wondering if every hand, as in, every game of solitaire, has a possibility of being winnable. Like, obviously, sometimes you might be unlucky enough to get a whole game where nothing can be done, but what about bad hands? I always wonder, as I pull a card from the deck to place it somewhere, "Will it be good to use it now? Would the card I need later in the future appear when I pull this card, or will pulling this card blow that chance away?" I somehow feel Solitaire, while it is a game of chance, is also a game of timing. One move could change the whole game for you later. It can make it, or break the game for you.

AND THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT how that was sort of like real life. I mean, we make choices in our lives, some more important than others, but like, sometimes people just end up wondering what would happen if they chose that, uhm, "other path". I use that allusion/metaphor a lot, and here I'm using it somewhat differently. What if we lived our lives the other way? Reminds me of Chrono Cross, where you get to visit that other world. EXCEPT I NEVER BEAT IT OR GOT TOO FAR SO I WOULDN'T KNOW.

Anyway, just some things I was wondering about. I always have questions wtf. )X

So the other day, after finishing my shower I head over to my mom's bedroom to find a comb to brush my hair, I noticed the window blinds were open. My mom tells me it's okay to leave it open during the day, but at night when I want the light son, the windows have to be closed, because then people can see me if I'm there. Well, I didn't feel like closing the blinds at that time, and I figured I wouldn't hang around too long, so being seen wouldn't be too much of a problem, but then I thought.. What if in the brief moment when I'm combing my hair, someone broke through the window with a gun and gunned me down?! More importantly, I wonder what would happen if I screamed. Surely, my sister who was upstairs who might (or might NOT, since it's not possible she would ignore my scream of horror as if it were nothing) hear it might come running downstairs to check on the commotion. If that happened, she would be shot too, right? In that case scenario, I would like her to run. Don't check up on me, run, because I don't want you to be next. o_o

Isn't that a hard decision to make right then and there? To tell someone not to check what's happening as someone's getting assaulted because you value their life? Like, technically, Tomo, if you're reading this, this is what I'm saying: If you hear me screaming and gunshots or something, don't check up on me. Go run and find help. )X

This is scary. I almost want to cry. -dork- Because I'm scared, or something.

It's just like if there's a code red at school or something and the gunman somehow broke into your classroom and starts shooting, what are you supposed to do? At first I thought playing dead would be the obvious answer, because uh, then the guy would think I'm dead when I'm faking it, right? But how are you going to keep your breathing all calm as that happens? Moreover, what if the guy wants to make sure you're dead, and SHOOTS you another time just to make sure? You can't really get up and run, either. That's sure death right there, too.

Darnit, why do mean people have to come and threaten everyone's life all of a sudden like that?

Watching America's Most Shocking videos or something had nothing to do with this. XD I just realized that watching that yesterday was a funny coincidence. Dangerous people just come out of nowhere, it's scary.

On a lighter note! Well, it's still more ramblings on my wonders, but while I was playing solitaire many times and losing, I was wondering if every hand, as in, every game of solitaire, has a possibility of being winnable. Like, obviously, sometimes you might be unlucky enough to get a whole game where nothing can be done, but what about bad hands? I always wonder, as I pull a card from the deck to place it somewhere, "Will it be good to use it now? Would the card I need later in the future appear when I pull this card, or will pulling this card blow that chance away?" I somehow feel Solitaire, while it is a game of chance, is also a game of timing. One move could change the whole game for you later. It can make it, or break the game for you.

AND THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT how that was sort of like real life. I mean, we make choices in our lives, some more important than others, but like, sometimes people just end up wondering what would happen if they chose that, uhm, "other path". I use that allusion/metaphor a lot, and here I'm using it somewhat differently. What if we lived our lives the other way? Reminds me of Chrono Cross, where you get to visit that other world. EXCEPT I NEVER BEAT IT OR GOT TOO FAR SO I WOULDN'T KNOW.

Anyway, just some things I was wondering about. I always have questions wtf. )X