30 May 2012 @ 10:08 pm

I woke up with a headache. I never feel like eating breakfast in the morning, but I know I have to or I won’t last the day! I got to sit in on a surgery the surgeon deemed as challenging today. It lasted for over an hour and a half and ended up being the only procedure I got to see. I actually was allowed in the operating room around 7:30 AM, but the doctor was at a meeting and didn’t arrive until 8. While waiting for him, I was talking to the scrub nurse. We were just talking about things like what I’m doing, why I’m there, and my plans for the future. He asked me what I like to do as a hobby, and I answered drawing! I showed him my deviantART, and he told me about how his kids like to draw too and asked questions like where I get ideas to draw. After that, we talked a bit about my hometown, which I was surprised he knew the name of! Not many people do, so I tend to pick the big city that’s 15 minutes away from where I live.

My discussion section for my ecology class took place at the duck pond today. We were supposed to conduct an experiment. The TA arrived late, but while waiting for her, I noticed a classmate that was also in my other class. I was feeling crummy about the score I got from the midterm we just took, and I just wanted to blow off some disappointment about it. So I went ahead and said aloud, “Man, that midterm! I didn’t do so well. I got a 58.”

I noticed she had a tissue out, so I added, “Oh, do you have allergies? I was worried I’d get allergies, too. Last time I was here for the group project we did for this class, my allergies started acting up like crazy!”

She told me that she didn’t have allergies, actually. She was kind of crying about something else. I asked her if she was okay, because I felt that I should always ask someone who’s sad if they might want to talk about it! She said she did, and then we ended up striking a conversation about how hard school was and how we’re studying but the results are not what we expect! We ended up having a lot of things in common, and I was just happy to be able to talk about what’s been eating me for the past week! I kept reassuring her that whatever she was feeling, I hit the exact same all-time low last week.

Really, I never forget that I’m not the only one with whatever problems I might have. I know there are always others who are in the same boat, but to be able to find someone else who is going through the same thing is really nice sometimes. I don’t mean it in a negative way, because of course I want the other person to have the best thing going for them, but sometimes it’s… reassuring to have someone who is going through the exact same thing and can listen to your plans seriously. I’ve been asking others for opinions, but of course depending on where the person I’m asking stands academically, how they feel about my situation is of course going to be different than mine.

I pretty much told her we can talk about anything! I’m not one to be easily offended, and I’m open about a lot of things. She asked what my plans for the rest of the day were, and I mentioned about attending a workshop about med school application in the next hour. She said she was thinking about doing the same thing! To kill the hour gap, we both went to the bookstore. I had a gift card to spend, but I wanted to see if there was something I would want to buy, first! I didn’t get anything in the end, and we both headed to the workshop.

After that, I waited with her for her bus, since she missed it by a minute because of the workshop! She really worried about taking too much of my time, and I kept saying that it was fine. I don’t offer things if it’s really no big deal. I told her I do the same for everyone. (X

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: Apartment
23 February 2012 @ 03:24 pm
Realizing the obvious...  
Well, it's been about 4 hours since my emotions and contemplating thoughts have pretty much subsided. I wanted to be able to write about it but because of class and whatnot in between, so of course by now I forgot a lot of the things I'd like to have write about. For now, I'll just try to make a pithy post. (As I started writing, I realized it wasn't!)

Again, it's about school )
Current Location: Apartment
Current Mood: frustrated
11 February 2012 @ 12:59 am


So yes, I do look annoyed.
See what others are wearing!
I just finished this for a contest on Tinierme and thought I'd share it. ^^

Tags: ,
Current Location: Apartment
Current Mood: listless
Current Music: Imai Tsubasa - IMAGINE
14 September 2011 @ 10:07 am
Feeling a bit bummed out...  
Not only am I retaking a class (to boost up my 2.3 GPA), but while trying to petition a degree from the community college I attended, I realized that a class I took there counts for "half" the class I’m taking at university.

I don’t know if that means I need to take that class in full at my university, because I can’t imagine petitioning for "half a class" and getting it. I guess I COULD take the other "half" of the class at the community college I attended, but I don’t have time for that! It makes more sense to take the class in full at uni!

Oh, the class is an important lower division that needs to be fulfilled, which is why I’m concerned about having already taken upper divisions that required that course. My university, for the sake of holding students responsible for their path, does not place restrictions on those who enroll in the more advanced classes that have prerequisites. If someone never takes the pre-reqs, it comes back to get them the day they plan to graduate!

I’ll talk to my counselor about this, along with this other question I have, but I’m preparing myself for this possible reality.

I sooo glum about this right now, but maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. It could be a chance to boost my GPA. It could also be a filler class for when I need a few more units to hit the minimum requirement for a quarter and I don't know what to take. Who knows?
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Kanye West - Power
10 July 2011 @ 10:13 am
Don't look back!  

Never, in my life, have my ideals and beliefs been challenged with such vigor as it has within the past year. Work hard and I’ll do well? Try my best because that’s the best I can do?

The successes my motto has brought have been few in number over the course of the rigorous challenges presented to me as of late. Even if things look bleak, I have to still hope for the best and stay optimistic—it could cost my vitality, my fighting spirit otherwise.

I’ll do what I can here. I can’t be relating similarities from a current situation to a failed effort in the past, because if I do, it’s all over.

I'll never get tired of being reminded "You can do anything, as long as you don't give up", "You'll never know 'til you try", and other variations of those seemingly bothersome catchphrases thrown at you in video games, because in the right situation, that kind of talk is what I really, really need.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: scared
24 May 2011 @ 09:47 am
I hate my dad sometimes. I figure it's a language barrier kind of thing because he can't exactly put words in a way that makes what he wants to say less blunt or hurtful. English is his second language.

One of the topics he brings up a lot is how I don't look healthy, or even blunter, that I'm getting fat. This always comes up at the worst times possible, because he ALWAYS brings it up when I'm stressed about upcoming due dates for term papers and very important midterms that I will fail without proper preparation.

Well, it came up again, because he was very upset at how I started taking the bus instead of biking to campus all the time. I don't take the bus that much-- only three times a week to accompany a friend, otherwise, I do a bit of biking. My dad started bringing up how I looked unhealthy last time I

I don't get it because I really feel I don't eat as much here as university, and I definitely go outside more than I ever do back at home. I'm really upset because this is the kind of thing I don't want to be thinking about right now, because I have to really work hard on some school stuff up until Thursday midnight, and being told this at this time is not appropriate because it's interfering with my already low self-confidence. I'm having a hard time believing I can handle my course load right now, so this is really adding to the list of things that I'll break down over.

On the other hand, I know reality can't be sugar coated. I feel I can't concern myself with fighting obesity until after my school stuff are done. At the same time, I feel taking the brunt of reality and maintaining my health at the same time as I'm worrying about work is another challenge I should be able to balance in.

I'm stuck wondering if I should let this get to me or not. I don't know this anger should be set aside until work is done, or if I should do something about it. Time is a very very pressing matter for me and I'm really freaking out about the things I have to do. I don't know what to do about this.

I know my dad means well, but he always adds challenges and complications to my life whenever I DON'T need it. Even now, I was setting aside time to study real quick, but I was so troubled I wanted to think about it. That, and my sister isn't online for me to complain to.

Maybe I'll go ahead and bike today instead of taking the bus with my friend. I don't want to let my dad down, and it's sunny outside.

That said, I'm not even really fat. My dad just likes to make me feel like I am, which is what I'm mostly upset about. I'm okay with my body as it is now, but I'm apparently not allowed to feel that way!
Current Location: Apartment
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: The Permanents - Ai no Muscle
01 November 2009 @ 07:04 pm
What has motivation done for you? =D  
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Calvin Coolidge
30th president of US (1872 - 1933)

I read this interesting quote on this sheet that gets handed out weekly from church. At first I didn't get it so I had to read it a second time, and when I finally got to the end, I almost teared up. (At the same time, I was like, "Why are you getting so emotional over this?"). I just felt persistent was, or rather is, a word that describes a lot of what I've been doing and having to do lately. I'm not the only one, I know, and I'm definitely not alienating anyone, but it just made me think, that's all. Success or failure, I think whatever it is that sparks or crushes a set goal, can never match up to the impressive valor of being persistent. If you reach success, that's great! You can look back at what it took to get there. If it's a failure, it's picking up where you left off or starting over that's really impressive.

That last sentence was what I really wanted to talk about. It's really hard to get up again when you fail miserably or lose everything you've worked hard on. It's one of the hardest things to do ever, but it's definitely to be admired. Oh, no, I'm not talking about anything super serious. It can apply to anything-- like this morning, I typed up a whole entry and then lost it because the submit button didn't send it entirely through. I was so angry, but then I had to decide on a choice: Should I write it again, or just forget it?

I ended up writing something completely different. Oh well! In any case, I'll be copying this entire entry, juuust in case. XD

And, a quick random rabble.--
Mass was pretty interesting today. I like that priest, though I feel terrible I don't know his name. He seems very educated, having to read the thoughts of a young saint in Latin. And during the breaking of the bread, whenever a priest changes his voice to some deep treble for singing a line or two all holy-like, I'm really moved. He was talking about how when he was young and went Trick-or-Treating, he went as St. Francis of Assisi, and his sister went as some woman (Was her name Veronica? I don't know the story) who wiped Jesus Christ's face. She carried a pillow case with Jesus' face printed on it. I couldn't help but laugh at this story. Trick-or-Treating as holy/Bible figures? That's hardcore! (Though I must admit it struck me as funny also because just yesterday I was reading some article written by a lady from some church saying that Halloween is the counter-holiday to Christmas, and that the devil was outt o get everyone through candy. It was just amusing how church people can have such contrasting thoughts regarding some things. Some will celebrate it, and some abhor it!)

Huh? What was the purpose of today's mass? It's All Saint's Day, I think! There was a moral or something about how the greatest saints are regular people just like us. I know that, but I think it's that humanity that makes them so admirable. I don't ever plan on being a saint, but they sure are good role models/pedestals of inspiration!

I don't normally pull religion out like that, but I just thought today had a good lesson to it and I felt like reminiscing over it. (X

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: None! Better load something up!
03 December 2008 @ 07:03 pm
Art Grind Challenge- Nov 30!  
November 30th passed three days ago, but here's my list. XD I haven't been drawing everyday exactly, but I have been drawing on lots of days, and I think I lost some as the days went by. I'm still searching around for them and uploading. Likewise, there might have some that are already uploaded but I haven't had the chance to sort them out yet. So this list should have more, even if I did skip quite a number of days.

The challenge was to draw the same character everyday from June 1 until November 30. I chose to draw Zombb

LIST - STAARRRTOOO!! (It's a long list.) )
Current Music: Koichi Domoto - Deep in your Heart
Current Mood: sick
Current Location: Home
28 June 2008 @ 01:31 pm
Hika's been watching videos again. Lazy!  
Of course I've been keeping up! XD I lost June 8's, but then found it, so I stuck it here with the rest of the mess.

June 8, 2008
June 14, 2008
June 15, 2008
June 16, 2008
June 17, 2008
June 18, 2008
June 19, 2008
June 20, 2008
June 21, 2008
June 22, 2008
June 23,2008
June 24, 2008
June 25, 2008
June 26, 2008
June 27, 2008

The rest is just normal entry stuff. n____n )
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: disappointed
13 June 2008 @ 12:44 pm
http://hotimg20.fotki.com/a/71_80/233_157/zombb_060908-vi.jpg June 9, 2008
http://hotimg15.fotki.com/a/71_80/233_157/zombb_061008-vi.jpg June 10, 2008
http://hotimg15.fotki.com/a/71_80/233_157/zombb_061108-vi.jpg June 11, 2008
http://hotimg19.fotki.com/a/71_80/233_157/zombb_061208-vi.jpg June 12, 2008
http://hotimg16.fotki.com/a/71_80/233_157/zombb_061308-vi.jpg June 13, 2008

I'm quite aware of the fact that sometimes I draw Zombb with antennae, and sometimes I don't. XD

Uhhh rambling )

So I have this journal-sort of thing I started writing in some years ago sitting in this pretty pink heavy-duty paper bag I received for my birthday from my aunt in my room. I wondered how long it's been since I last wrote in it, and though on most days I usually forget to tackle that curiosity, today, I remembered. ^^

Turns out the last time I wrote in it was ONLY two years ago. (Why does it feel so much longer than that?) I hope to maybe write some more in it later today, or sometime this week or so. This particular journal holds a special sentimental feeling for me; I wrote in it specifically to demonstrate self growth. I read the only two entries I've written in it, and I see that a lot of values I had then are the same as the ones I do have now, but some ways of thinking have drastically changed. I noticed that was written around my all-time low confidence streak, and now I'm a bit more confident, or rather, I hope I am more confident now. ^^ In any case, I should get to it sometime soon. I thought it was a stupid idea at the time, and maybe it still is right now, but I did it anyway, and it'd be a nice thing to respond to.
07 June 2008 @ 01:41 pm
It's a long entry, so here are my artgrind submissions for yesterday and today. I didn't submit yesterday, but I did draw something. ^^;

http://hotimg14.fotki.com/a/71_80/233_157/zombb_060608456.jpg June 6, 2008
http://hotimg14.fotki.com/a/71_80/233_157/zombb_060708-vi.jpg  June 7, 2008

I organized it in parts so it's a bit easier to navigate. XD

The day before yesterday, I got myself introduced to the group Kanjani8. Although the group remains largely unknown to others, I kind of felt like I was lost in whatever obsession it was to most girls. I'd recognize a thumbnail of Nishikido Ryo as someone's avatar, but I'd be all up in the air as to which of the other 7 (or sometimes 6) were also named.

It's funny that I can trace this new-found discovery back to some car commercial (Not sure if it was car, exactly). The song "Secret Agent Man" was playing, and I went on Youtube to search it up. (I do this often whenever I hear a song I think I might like.) I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but I never knew the song existed. I had a friend whose screenname for something was something like "Secret Asian Man", and I saw a comic in the newspaper titled the same thing. SO NATURALLY I THOUGHT THE SONG WAS SECRET ASIAN MAN. XD Anyway, it's a funny song, but not something I could listen over and over on repeat like I do with some songs. =o

So, what do I find? A Japanese version of the song. XD I click on it just to hear what it sounds like, since familiar songs in different languages are always a fun listen. I browse through the comments a bit whild the video plays, and see numerous mentions of adorable this Ryo-chan was even at that age. Already I'm cycling through my head, so he -MUST- be older and probably a singer by now, right? So I search -him- up, and get some videos, most noticably, his solo where he sort of.. unbuttons his shirt. I don't think that was such a great introduction for me, but the song was pretty good. XD I browsed through some other videos with him in it, but I don't think I watched them all that much or I just didn't like the songs as much as I did with the Spirits song. I did sort of pick up the fact that he was in Kanjani8, though at that time I didnt' bother to find out who they were.

I don't remember why I started searching the Kanjani8 (I searched up KAT-TUN first) up Wednesday. I think I wanted some new fast-paced music. o3o I *THINK* I looked up David Tao first. I can't remember if he was Cantonese or Mandarin, but his music is amaaazing. I loved Wu Liang Bao (Augh.. spelling. @_@) and his duet with Jolin Tsai, Jin Tian Ni Yao Jia Gei Wo. Then, afterwards, I was wondering what this famed KAT-TUN was all about, because it showed up in the Youtube side bar thing a lot. I thought its member, Akanishi Jin was part of this other group called KinKi Kids, whom Jackie showed me a PV of, but I guess it was a different guy. ^^; Anyway, my attention soon shifted to Kanjani8, since KAT-TUN is quite closely associated with that group, I believe. -shrug- Plus, I would recognize at least one guy-- Nishikido Ryo! XD I guess I'm not too good with faces, I need at least one guy I'm familiar with when I watch something.

I watched mainly the PVs, since I kind of don't care too much for live performances. XD; I liked most of whatever ones were out, namely Wahaha, It's My Soul, and some other ones I can't seem to remember the name. They're funny, upbeat songs, and I like that, since I don't do too well with slow songs, for some reason. (Some go by me fine, though ^^;) I watched Wahaha first, ('cause my sister might have thought the name was funny, and we should watch that first XD) and instantly I recognize Ryo. (He's hard to miss, isn't it?) The boy with the black frayed hair and crooked teeth was my favorite, though, and I went ahead to look at the other videos to try and find him, BUT I COULDN'T. I searched up photos to hopefully get his name, but aside from Ryo, Subaru, and you, I had NO IDEA who the rest of the group were. XD THEY ALL LOOK SO SIMILAR.

So, yesterday, I searched up even more videos with Kanjani8, including the live performances. I watched some, because I knew they did more live performances than PVs.. (am I correct? XD) I just watched video after video just so I could find Shingo, since to me, he was always hard to find. I think he's not as popular as Subaru, You, or the loved Ryo, 'cause I don't see much talk about him. XD In any case, I even watched the Japanese drama he played in, Dive to the Future to familiarize myself with him.

Uh, that movie was so hard for me to watch because in my opinion, dramas are really corny. XD My sister was watching one all day, and I didn't understand why she'd waste her time like that, EVEN THOUGH IT'S SUMMER AND SHE'S BOUND TO BE BORED SOONER OR LATER. However, the main reason why it was hard to watch is because it's a diving movie, all the guys wears Speedos. Yeeecch. I can't stand it; it's so scaaary. I had to look away from the video sometimes. Plus, Shingo's hair was long in that one, and I don't like long hair on him at aall. XDD

The FUNNIEST thing about watching it, though, is before the movie started, there was this ad with some man relaxing in a mudbath. I was like, just staring in disbelief, then.. SOMEONE EMERGES FROM THE MUD BATH. Then I was like, NO THIS IS TOO SCARY and I hit back. After that I was thinking, "Hey, it sounded like an ad, what if the movies after it?" So I click forward, and there the man in the mud bath was again! I hit back again, because it was scary. Hahah. I didn't want to see the man or the person emerging from the mudbath or the strange man announcing the purpose/product of the advertisement. At last, I figured I'd just.. pay no attention to the ad, so once again, I click forward. Even though I didn't see the scene, I hated hearing the advertisement. I don't even know what it was about! XD

I'm not too crazy about live performances, but hell, I sure wish I -could- dance. I know everyone loves Ryo, and I do admit he's good-looking, but he doesn't strike my interest. XD -shot- Nope, Shingo's my favorite, though it was terribly difficult for me to differentiate him from the other five or four, because he was always changing his hair. At least that many of the group dye or bleach their hair for the same performance. The only way I could recognize Shingo is by his teeth! It's such a strange way to identify someone, I think, but I always notice teeth since I've had dental problems for a long, long time. XD Shou from Kishidan/DJ Ozma was identified by the teeth, too, though it's obvious the hair asks for so much more attention. XD So, whenever I watched the Kanjani8 videos, I paid clooose attention to find those charming crooked teeth of Shingo's! Thanks to my sister, we found his whole name, too. XD Before it was just like, "THE CUTE GUY WITH CROOKED TEETH".

Anyway, the point after all that is that I now know who the Kanjani8 are, and feel like there's a part of this world's culture that I never knew about finally sunk into some form of knowledge. Hahah! But most importantly, I can recognize who Murakami Shingo is. n________n I don't think I'm a crazed fan of this group like many others, though, but I do like some of their songs. ^^;


My mom called me down yesterday in the afternoon because, apparently, there were kittens living under our patio! I've never seen kittens in real life before (I'M DEPRIVED OF THIS WORLD AND I KNOW IT) and they were soooooo cute. T_T They look so fluffy and everything. I just wanted to go out and hold one, but the mama looked pretty angry. XD Apparently, while I'm at school, my mom and sister see this fat cat hanging around in our backyard numerous times, and it turns out she was pregnant. I'm left out on this encounter, because my mom immediately noticed the mother cat was really skinny now, due to giving birth to the kittens. Anyway, the kittens must have been there for quite some time without our knowing, because they did have fur and could walk. They were playing around with our garden things like it was their playground. It was soooo cuuuute! >w<" My mom asked me what we should do, and right away, I answered, "CALL ANIMAL CONTROL. THEY CAN FIX THIS." My mom doesn't want to cause such an uproar with them, I think, so my idea was shot down. Eventually, we figured they'd go away once they were old enough, which should be soon since they all could walk and such.

>w< I want a kitty, but our family isn't good with animals or pets, unless they're fish. Maybe I can save this story for another day. I already rambled too much, and even if no one reads this, when I go back to this for a nice blast from the past, there's only so much I can take in, I think. XD

You know, when I think about it, those kittens are growing up in poverty. Their mama is a stray who just gave birth to them in someone's backyard, and who knows how she got those kittens in the first place. The poor things are playing around in their poverty-stricken area, garden things, and thinking it's their playground and all because they're children and don't understand the poor situation they're in.

Coming home yesterday, my mother told me she told a co-worker about the kittens and asked what we should do. The answer? Call animal control and they'll neuter those kittens so more aren't birthed. (X


CONGRATULATIONS TO MY CLASS OF 2008. (X Highschool graduation was yesterday, and I didn't attend it because I didn't wnat to. o3o A lot of friends and folk were in disbelief regarding my decision, but my parents were fine with it. I only feel bad now 'cause my mom sounds like she wanted to go. Did she want to go that badly? I wish she would have told me. She said she's worried I'll regret it later in life, but I don't think so. College is more important, and I'll be sure to attend that graduation ceremony. (If I graduate XD)
Current Music: Various Kanjani8 music XD And David Tao
Current Mood: chipper
05 June 2008 @ 05:41 pm
Artgrind Challenge - Day Five!  

Not so very successful attempt at perspective. XD
04 June 2008 @ 09:53 pm
Artgrind Challenge - Day Four!  

Ahahahah I finally colored something. (X I spent all day trying to figure out his color scheme.

Now I don't know his eye color. =B
03 June 2008 @ 10:25 am
Artgrind Challenge - Day Three  

Don't know. Felt like drawing him all embarrassed when flattered. XD
02 June 2008 @ 06:34 pm
Artgrind challenge - Daaay Two!  

I can't say much today, I think.

I need help spiffing up his jacket. XD
01 June 2008 @ 10:08 am
Artgrind Challenge - Day One!  
Even if I'm not added officially (yet), I can still participate, right? XD

I think it's too big to show it normally


Uhhh. I joined LiveJournal just for this and don't understand how everything works. XDD

I think I was about to ramble, but now I'm too lazy. Or maybe I'll end up doing it if I think of things to say.

Uh, I was doing this other challenge thing, sort of, and it said to draw someone doing two things at once. So here's Zombb, bandaging up his left arm and trying to put on his jacket. At the same time. wow I know. He probably got into some street fight or something and right now he's thinking how late he is for practice and how screwed he'll be. =B

Though it hasn't been official or really cleared up with my buddy Sai yet, Zombb is the supposed drummer in a band with her characters. (X Oh, yes. Uhm, they're Neopets. Yay. XD AISHA EARS.

I guess I could write some stuff about Zombb so I'll remember to add it later to his profile or something. As hinted before, Zombb is sort of.. involved with gangs, though not so much as being in the deepest parts of the conflicts and such. Just like any typical (un)original G, he likes gangs, bikes, and girls-- I mean romance. He doesn't have a bike though. Maybe I should give him one. =B

It's obvious "Da Hood" has a purpose-- to hide Zombb's emotions and feelings. n.n Da Hood is quite large, and the teeth tend to conceal his eyes, so when speaking to him, you might be intimidated because he appears quite shady. He's quite the shy type, despite the menacing image he may give off. Any scary faces he makes is for the purpose of promoting the band image, of course! Unfortunately, he's no good at getting his feelings across either, so his words can sometimes be misinterpreted as being critical or even cold. (Whereas Shin does it on purpose. Odin is just blunt like that xP [I currently have NO explanation for the other two mentioned characters XD]) An example of this is, if there's a chatty character nearby who just can't seem to settle down, instead of telling her to "Be quiet, please", Zombb say "You're too loud.", which demonstrates hints of annoyance rather than an earnest request to "pipe down". =B

And uh. Because he sounds so mundane, I had him be a reader. Yes. He likes to read.

.. Dork!

Oh, and his hood changes with his emotions, obviously!
Current Mood: Dork'd